Heartache

So I am in another one of my little depressions about wanting another baby. I go through this often, very often. I see a baby and my heart aches, I truly want another baby. I often wonder why it is that so many women (girls) can have as many children as they can, and should not even have one. Why is it that many people like me, who want children so desperately, can provide for, give lots of love, wonderful family, etc., can't? I don't understand. It is not fair. I know life is not fair, all too well. But this, is a constant heartache.

Chinese Medicine

Okay, I know some people think I am a bit out there sometimes, but I think I am on to something with this. I have been seeing an acupuncturist and she has started me on some Chinese medicine. I find it fascinating. Chinese herbs are medicines have been relied on for their health for thousand years. She is also helping me get my elbows fixed! But I have noticed a big difference when it is that time of the month. Way less irritable, pain, etc. I have more energy and, less stressed, more relaxed. So between my acupuncturist and my nutritionist I hope to be the healthiest I have been. I turn 40 in October and I have made a promise to myself to be the healthiest (body and soul) I can.
I have been taking: Gui Pi Wan
What does it do?
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the heart controls the blood and stores Shen (the spirit), the spleen absorbs the nutrients we eat and transport them to the blood. When the heart function is weak, one may develop anemia, palpitation, and pale face; one may also have difficulty to fall into sleep, be easy to forget things. When the spleen function is weak, digestion is impaired, the blood is not well nourished and may not be hold well in the blood vessels, which may increase the tendency of bleeding.

Gui Pi Wan (Pian) strengthens the spleen and the heart, nourishes blood and Qi, calms the mind.† How it acts in modern biochemical terms is not yet understood. Gui Pi Wan has been indicated in China Pharmacopoeia1 for use in heart and spleen deficiency, palpitation, short of breath, insomnia, amnesia, dreamness, dizziness, bodily tiredness, and poor appetite.

And, Xiao Yao Pian
is a well known ancient Chinese herbal medicine for liver Qi stagnation. Today, it is a commonly used herbal remedy for anxiety, irritability, stress, and depression due to the challenge of a daily life or premenstrual tension.soothing the liver and strengthening the spleen, tonifying the blood and regulating menstruation.

So Proud

 

Today Sam had his 4 year well check. The doctor came into the room and sat down on his little chair and pulls out bis little table. When he walked in he held out his hand and Sam shook his hand. But anyway when the doctor sat down Sam stood right in front of him. I was behind him. The doctor started asking Sam questions about what he eats, if he goes to the dentist, if he swims, uses sunscreen, gets exercise, how much TV he watches, if he goes to school, who is his best friend, if he sleeps good, etc. Sam stood there and had a total conversation/interview with him for a good 10 minutes. The doctor kept looking over at me and mouthing, "Wow, so intelligent." I was just so proud of him and the way he handled himself and answered every question with confidence and honesty. I wish I had my camera to video it. He even told the doctor "Sometimes I have too many Popsicles!" The doctor was so impressed with him, and told us he rarely has a conversation slash interview with a 4 year old like this, and his vocabulary is extraordinary! He told us, "You need to make sure he is in special classes when he gets into kindergarten to keep developing his remarkable intelligence." He is quite an amazing person our Sam, and it is so wonderful when others see what you see.
He is 43 inches, I think that is like 3'7. And weighs 42 pounds. The doctor said his weight his perfect for his height and he unfortunately sees so many overweight kids at this age. He had to get some shots and he was so very brave. He did cry and it broke my heart. But he is good now, and afer we left it didn't phase him anymore. He just ripped off the bandages, what a stud! God I just adore him......

My new obsession

I found this really interesting show on the BBC Channel about a month or two ago, it is called You Are What You Eat, here is the website, http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/273/index.jsp
I don't know why, but i could watch this all the time. I am very much into nutrition and eating whole food, non-processed, real food. When I found this show I thought wow this is so cool. The host is great, she is a holistic nutritionist. I started seeing a nutritionist a while back to really gain more knowledge on eating the best I can for a healthy life. I know I am doing well since Sam will almost always pick healthy foods over junk and has never had a lot of processed foods. I don't buy him frozen foods or anything in a can, anything with hydrogenated oil, etc., never have from the start. Any way, this show is funny, she checks peoples poo and everything. When I first started seeing my nutritionist she asked me about my poo and checks my tongue. You can tell so much about your health by your tongue and your poo! It really is an interesting and funny, show and you will be shocked at what the people she is helping consume. Check it out. It is on a few different days. I think for sure on Thursdays at 1pm and Friday as well. Channel 264 if you have DirecTv... Here is her website that I am thinking of joining....
http://www.gillianmckeithclub.com/about.php

My Very Silly Uncle

My Uncle, AKA Funkle (which is short for Fuckin Uncle, there is a story behind it) is my Mom's youngest brother. He is 44. Him and my best friend Marcie (we have been best friends since 6th grade) have been together for 10 years. We are all very close and have so much fun together! Sam adores him. He is always messing with Sam and he loves it!

The Swim Before The Storm

 
 
 
 
We had our Friends over to swim and hang out and a storm came in, it was so cool! the sky was awesome! But the wind picked up one of my big umbrellas and snapped it in half, damn. The water is so very warm now, almost like bath water. I guess we need to turn on the cooling system. So did the storm wake everyone up last night? Man I thought I our house was going to explode! The thunder was so loud! Our poor doggies were so freaked out. Daisy, who will not come up the stairs (16 years old) ended up pooping allover the tile last night and apparently walked around in circles in it. And Buddy who sleeps with us could not get close enough to me and panted all night long. Thankfully Sam slept through it. He would have been so frightened. So the doggies are napping as I type..... Sam si playing with playdough in PJs still, Jeff just walked in the door from the restaurant. Lazy day....

Painting

 

 

 

 

So we have finished painting Sam's room. Looks great! He wanted to paint it red and purple, his favorite colors, but I had to say no to that. So we went with a blue and sage green. Still working on final touches, the fun stuff! But he is sleeping in there, and still coming in our room around 11pm every night, oh well. He will not be wanting to sleep with us forver so I will just enjoy him terrozing me in my sleep! he sasy he misses his old room and gets very sad about it. he does not really like change. We are going to move his twin bed, bedding (it is construction truck theme) and decor to my mom's and he will have his own room there! What a lucky kid he is I tell ya!

Walking With Dinosaurs

There is a really awesome show coming to US Airways September 10-14. It is called Walking With Dinosaurs. It is incredible! If you have kids that are into dinos or you jut want to see and educational show you have to go to this! I got us tickets before they went on public sale and since then I have seen so many advetisements about the show and I am so excited to see it! Sam will be in awe.....
http://www.dinosaurlive.com

Sad

Gosh I can't even tell you all the different emotions that came flooding back into my heart when I found this photo. It was 1984, we had taken a cruise on the ACTUAL Love Boat. Me my Mom and Dad, my Papa and my Grandma. This was one of the last picture taken of my Dad. He passed away Septmeber of that year. He was only 36, I was 15, my mom 37. I miss him, and time really doesn't make it easier, you just learn to lock away the pain.

Pancakes Please

One of Sam's favorite things right now is helping me cook. Especially when we make pancakes. He even helped me make chili last night. He is very careful and aware of the hot stove. We have a gas stove so he has to be very careful. He can't wait to be able to cook at the restaurant, soon enough....

Oh, What Have I Started!

So we recently decided to move Sam into the bigger bedroom. We painted the room and now I decided to, well I had to really, take everything out of that extra room and closet and get it organized. In that closet is all of our X-Mas wrapping and gift bags, ribbons, bows and a lot of crap that just got piled in there when we moved in. So I now have everything out of that room and closet and it is just all over the upsatirs. I am panicked, lol! I am the type of person who cannot function well with clutter and being out of sorts. I am overwhelmed, yikes! I still have to go through all of Sam's closet, clean that out before I can get all this other stuff in there! And I decided to reorganize all the stuff in bins and broke out my label maker. I don't know what I was thinking, but when I get it all back together it will make me smile. We decide to move Sam in the other room that has it's own bathroom and totally redecorate it really cool in Dino theme in hopes that he may want to start sleeping in his OWN room! He goes to sleep in his room, but about 11pm he is in our bed. It has been like that since we took him out of his crib when he was 29 months. Not one night has he not come in and slept with us. He started climbing out of his crin when he was around 16 months and we had to buy a crib tent cuz he would get out and go in the living room and start playing. It really worried us. I love waking up with him in our bed, but he constantly moves around all night. I have to sleep with a pillow between us cuz he terrorizes me in the night, lol! It is a very full bed, me, Jeff, Sam and one of our dogs, very cozy. But anyway I have this huge disaster now and I am at a place where I don't know what to do next, and it is time to get dinner going....... I guess I am wasting time.... wish me luck and maybe I will post some pics soon!

Rain

Liking the rain during the day!

I love it when it rains. I think almost all Arizonans do. But not Sam! He gets worried! It is the noise. He has always been very sensitive to loud noises. And he associates rain with thunder. He will not sleep when it is raining and even in the day he is upset. He will sometimes go out and play in it, but not always. This is the first thing he said to me this morning when he got up.

"Mommy, that rain last night when it was hitting the window was disturbing to me!" He says this all pissed off like!

He will worry about the birds in the rain and asked me the other day if it was okay that all the trees had that much rain water around them (we drove by a greenbelt that was flooded). Also, about weather, my mom had told him her friend had went to Hawaii and was telling him about Hawaii. Then the news was on and he overheard on it that here was a volcano that had erupted in Hawaii. He got very upset and told me mom that she had better call Sandy and tell her not to go to Hawaii and to warn her. He was very, very upset for her. He is just a worrier I suppose, I hope it passes.

Accountable

We started a really great program in our home for Sam, and well it is for all of us really. It is called The The Accountable Kids Program. My Holistic Nutritionist told me about it while talking with her about our kids. It is a unique parenting program designed to teach accountability and responsibility in the home. It is a back-to-basics system which includes essential principles and concrete parenting tips for strengthening relationships and building a foundation for success. Children learn to balance choices and consequences in a fun, productive manner. They experience the joy of being a vital, contributing member of the family and develop confidence and self-worth. The final goal of the AK program is for children to discover that some of the most important rewards come from within. It starts with a chore board that you pick and choose which chores your child can handle and when he completes them he in turn gets a ticket to use towards something fun and rewarding. To me I have noticed the younger generation of kids, and you adults think that the should just be given whatever they want, no accountability, no responsibility. We really want Sam to be accountable and responsible for his own self worth and realize that he is accountable for his actions. This is such a great program and Sam has picked up on it fast and is excited about all the rewards he can earn by doing his part around here, helping others, and being respectful. Here is a link to the website. info@accountablekids.com
Here are some pictures of Sam and Jeff hanging up his board!

Sammy's First 4th Of July

 

 

 

Sam was almost exactly a month old on his first 4th Of July. I remember the day so vividly. He was a grumpy little guy that day! Well the started on a good note with a lovely bath. We were still having issues with breastfeeding and all. poor little guy. And we were all a bit overtired and grumpy I guess, lol! Boy time sure does fly... seems like just yesterday. Happy Birthday America!!!

Soccer

 
 
 
Sam hasn't really done a lot of soccer, just in the backyard with us and stuff. But we went to Kicks For Kids and he really has a great foot work! I call him tippytoes all the time cause he is always running around on his toes! He loves to run, and run and can dribble the ball really well. He had a great time! I played soccer for a couple of years and was a left fullback, I loved it! Great sport, and I think we will see if he wants to play in the fall!

Concern for Daddy....

I was putting Sam in his car seat, and he pulls me in to hug and kiss me which is normal, but after, I looked at him and he looked very sad. So I asked him what was the matter?

Me "You look sad, is something wrong?"
Sam "I am worried about Daddy."
Me "Why honey, Daddy is good."
Sam "I worry about him at the restaurant so much."
Me "I know, he works very hard, but I think he is okay, we will call him okay."
Sam "Okay, I just worry."
Me "I know you, are so sweet to be concerned about Daddy, he is lucky to have you."

My little man is such a concerned, empathetic, and a bit of a worrier. It amazes me how in touch he is with everything. I wish he wasn't worried about Daddy, but I am amazed at how he can express himself. I have never mentioned to him Jeff working so much and we don't like to talk negative around him or anything since he does have a tendency to worry and get overly concerned about things. He has such a wonderful, caring soul.